i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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