I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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