Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Randomize
