He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
