ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
