At least make sure they are 18
Why
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize