U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
