My brain says no but my pants say off.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize