hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
