this is something i pride myself on being below average for
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
