the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
