the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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