HIV tests are more positive than that guy
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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