If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
