hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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