Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
