I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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