she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
