It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
