i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
