My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is Oprah even human
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
