You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
