Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
