can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
