any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
