I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
