I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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