The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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