apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
