I cannot find my penis.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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