nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
