it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
