Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize