Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
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