I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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