I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She told me I should be a condom model.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
