Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My pussy is not your playground.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
