1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
