not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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