Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
