watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize