Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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