Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
