Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if only i could text you this smell
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
