my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
