I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
