See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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