he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Drunk is not a location!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
