you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I had to cum in my sink.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
