dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
