I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
do herpes really smell.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
