How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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