So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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