Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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