Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
