I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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