In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
