we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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