Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
