didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
