I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
