he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize